A Story How She Started Wearing Hijab
i wanna blog about how amazing step up 4 was.....
but i'll jus do it some other time. but really it was off the hook. it was so amazing i was smiling the whole time. for those of u who didnt watch. what a pity..
i wanna blog about Cendol Bakar. it was phenomenal. they even have drive thru. n the line? even mcdonald cant beat the super long que. i mean what??? cendol???? haha. kau ada?
but again... thats not what i want to blog about
what i really wanna blog about is my hijra or migration or changes whateva u call it. i am now officially wearing hijab. it took me 20 years to actually change my appearance. what took me so long to do what i'm suppose to do?
i grew up in the environment that doesnt force me to do so. went thru high skool that 70% of the students were chinese, 20% indians n 10% malays. n for my class, i only have farah, the one n only malay female other than me. n she's also not a hijabi. never crossed my mind to wear hijab.
i was 17 when one of my family member(cant actually rmmber who) asked me when am i goin to start to wear hijab. to b frank, i cringed hearing that question. n i just replied with "soon" without even caring much on it.
the thing is, i dun find it easy to wear hijab. "y do i look so weird and unattractive in this" is what i'll ask myself when i try wearing it. the idea of covering up the crown of evry woman scare me. since i love to change my hairstyle n stuff. i'll have this confidence when i feel the wind through my hair as i walk. with hijab, my self confidence-- Gone. i feel ugly. n thats the ugly truth.
its a struggle when i was constantly told that i look better without it. it is more flattering without hijab yada yada yada. n so it was tough to make the change.
besides, the place where i live which is Puchong Jaya are mostly non muslim. my circle of frens are all chinese n indians. n so its really hard to wear hijab coz u'll feel so out of place. maybe u dun get it, but its hard when u feel like everyone is staring at you with some kind of uneasy feeling.
its when i was in matriculation college that i start to open up coz i have new kind of friends. i started to have the desire to b a hijabi. n trust me. u cant change in a blink of an eye. it takes time.
i went to Universiti Malaysia Sabah with hopes that i'll get friends that can retain my desire. alhamdulillah He heard my prayer. i started to build more confidence, changed my perspectives. it doesnt matter what ppl thing, what more important is the responsibility that u should carry. its no good to be attractive but in the same time degrading ur dignity. its no good to liked by loads of guys but gain no respect from them. wearing hijab is not something one does to look good. it is part of women to present themselves in a positive way
like i said, it takes time. it took me 1 year in UMS to fully wear hijab. next week will be the 1st day i'll be attending classes with hijab. i am nervous. i guess its normal. to change is one thing, to be persistent about it is another thing. if the root of ur intention is to do what our creator has made fard upon us, u'll wear it despite the fact whether u look nice covering up or not. there is no turning back n i'm ready. insyaallah...
so thats my story. thanx for reading this veryyyyy long post.
the thing is, i dun find it easy to wear hijab. "y do i look so weird and unattractive in this" is what i'll ask myself when i try wearing it. the idea of covering up the crown of evry woman scare me. since i love to change my hairstyle n stuff. i'll have this confidence when i feel the wind through my hair as i walk. with hijab, my self confidence-- Gone. i feel ugly. n thats the ugly truth.
its a struggle when i was constantly told that i look better without it. it is more flattering without hijab yada yada yada. n so it was tough to make the change.
besides, the place where i live which is Puchong Jaya are mostly non muslim. my circle of frens are all chinese n indians. n so its really hard to wear hijab coz u'll feel so out of place. maybe u dun get it, but its hard when u feel like everyone is staring at you with some kind of uneasy feeling.
its when i was in matriculation college that i start to open up coz i have new kind of friends. i started to have the desire to b a hijabi. n trust me. u cant change in a blink of an eye. it takes time.
i went to Universiti Malaysia Sabah with hopes that i'll get friends that can retain my desire. alhamdulillah He heard my prayer. i started to build more confidence, changed my perspectives. it doesnt matter what ppl thing, what more important is the responsibility that u should carry. its no good to be attractive but in the same time degrading ur dignity. its no good to liked by loads of guys but gain no respect from them. wearing hijab is not something one does to look good. it is part of women to present themselves in a positive way
like i said, it takes time. it took me 1 year in UMS to fully wear hijab. next week will be the 1st day i'll be attending classes with hijab. i am nervous. i guess its normal. to change is one thing, to be persistent about it is another thing. if the root of ur intention is to do what our creator has made fard upon us, u'll wear it despite the fact whether u look nice covering up or not. there is no turning back n i'm ready. insyaallah...
so thats my story. thanx for reading this veryyyyy long post.
i wanna give credits to Tuan Farah Shafreena(my bestie's(farah) sister) for being my inspiration n idol. she wore hijab earlier than me. n it got me thinking she's someone from this neighbourhood n our cirlce of friends r in the same category(mostly non muslims) n if she can do it, y cant i? if i lose confidence, i''ll think of her n i'll be stronger. thx kak farah :)
kak farah(most right) - isnt she beautiful? ^^
i also wanna thank Siti Zaleha Ismail (who feellike crying or did she cried? when she saw me wearing hijab) for giving me loads of advice. me loves ya!
n Umie Aqilah, Yusuf, Kak Wun. love u guys so much for giving me the strength (y do i feel like i jus won a grammy award?)
song of da day: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift
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