Life is a Beautiful Struggle

I find myself wandering during the day and falling at night.
Thinking it will all be easier if you’re here.
I don’t feel sick nor do I cry talking about it. Not anymore.
That future hopes and dreams with you. I guess they no longer exist. I don’t know.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a fog. No I’m not depressed.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dark cave. Yet I am surrounded by people, by friends.
I can crawl to the space outside to the lights.
But why do I keep curling back to the darkness.
I don’t know. I don’t know.
There are empty holes crushing me from the inside.
Your absence has gone through me.
But again, I shall gather up all my strength. Play it all on repeat bcoz I know it can only get better.

It can only get better.

Keep Calm Cause Soon I'm Gonna Be a Psychologist

this is the 5th week of my 5th semester. i'm already a super senior! oh how time flies.

managed to obtained another first class gpa for my 4th semester which marks my short term goal. 4 consecutive first class honours. all praise to Allah :)

so, new semester, new subjects

1) Abnormal psychology
2) Psychological Testing and Measurement
3) Consumerism and Marketing
4) Safety and Health in the Workplace
5) Laws for Social Workers
6) Health Social Work

may He ease my journey throughout this semester.
since i'm already in my final year lets talk about future planning shall we?

currently i am majoring in Industrial and Organizational Psychology (IO Psych) where basically i study about human behavior in major organizations to increase productivity and study any related issues like health, mental and physical well being of employees and etcetera. after graduating, i plan to further my studies by taking master degree in Clinical Psychology where later i will be able to work in health facilities like hospitals and mental health facilities. handling mental illness, abnormal behaviors and psychiatric problems. how interesting!! right? right? well thats my passion.

so thats about it. but say i get an awesome job after graduating, i might put my master degree in clinical on hold. and maybe do part time master degree in IO Psychology while working. we always need plan A and plan B kannn....

song of da day: Love Will Remember - Selena Gomez

An Open Letter

somewhere in the clouds, i can picture a smile if i stared for a while.
as i'm thinking aloud i just wish you were here though you're nowhere near.
still thinking of you.

Song of da day: Wake Me Up - Avicii

Songs That Makes Me Cry in Pain

this post is not going to be as dramatic as the title. thank you

well, i listen to mainstream music (music that can be often heard on the radio). and my favourite frequency is 95.8 ( but recently i had a change of heart. i started listening to instead coz i got bored with the music in fly.

so there are a few songs that are so freaking annoying my ear will start bleeding, my head will start spinning, my vomit will start vomiting.  i cant stand the songs at all maybe because the music and lyrics sucks, or maybe becoz they keep playing it for an infinite number of times, or maybe its the combination of both. so here you go, 5 songs that when i hear the 1st beat of it, i'll change the frequency right away. and these songs might be fabulous to you since its oh so damn popular but seriusly, its not for me *straight face*

bear in mind that i dont rank em. they are all bad at the same level

1) Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
you know i got no hate at all towards imagine dragons. i love their song Demons like a lot. but tis song, Radioactive is a huge, gigantic, enormous NO

2) Walks Like Rihanna - The wanted
this song has repetitive lyrics like its nobody's business. i know that she cant sing, she cant dance, you dont care coz she walks like rihanna. I GET THAT! now plz go play somewhere else. (die hard fans like my sister is goin to kill me for this)

3) Locked Out Of Heaven - Bruno Mars
i'm a big fan of Bruno Mars ya know but i dont like this song at all. the music, the tune and the background sound i dont know the "musical" terms of it but gawsh. i really hate it. 

4) Here's to Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne 
i know. i know. how can i not like this song right? but i'm sorry, its not my cup of tea or even my cup of coffee. = /

5) Get Lucky - Daft Punk
everything about this song is annoying to me

so thats that. and i got a bonus song and it is the most annoying song ever. like everrrrrrrrr. say, if i have to choose whether to be stuck in an island forever or i have to only listen to this song all my life. nahh i'd choose the island. its that BADDDDD. again, for me. so here is the song *drum roll*

Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
i seriusly have no idea how is it possible to create a song as annoying as this. they even did mash up of Call Me Maybe and Oppa Gangnam Style. thats the creme de la creme of the worst song ever. like ever *imitating Taylor Swift*

People I Want to Punch in the Throat

you know, its amazing how people can be so insensitive at times. whatever happened to "be nice" and "be polite". i have no idea what people like this are thinking with their screwed up brain.

song of da day: Demons - Imagine Dragons


earthquake. exactly what i felt this whole morning before checking my result.
the worst out of 3 semesters but i'm still so grateful coz its still first class honours. 3.80 for this 3rd semester. *clap clap*

freakiing B for Organization Psychology i just cant believe it. damn!

neway, i'm excited to start the new semester but sad to leave home. and of course the foods T.T

for 4th semester, 'll be taking these subjects:-
1) Data analysis
2) Experimental Psychology
3) Physiological Psychology
4) Work, Physiology and Ergonomics
5) Infant and Child Development Psychology
6) Parenting and Non-Tradition Families
7) Mandarin Language Level III
8) Fundamental of Entrepreneurial Acculturation

i;m goin to be the busiest this semester and i'm hoping i'll do better this semester

song of da day: Used to You - Guy Sebastian
p/s: its a really beautiful song. perfect for those who r in the mood for some romantic Valentine's Day


responsibility. it is not as simple as it sounds i guess. responsibility of a father to his family. responsibility of parents to their kids. responsibility of daughter and son to their parents.

the third one that i mentioned intrigue me. yeah cuz i'm not a father nor am i a parent, yet.

i still remmber Mr. Rajan (my awesome high skool english teacher) once said "people nowadays seems to forget what they have to do for their parents. instead of giving money to their parents, they give loads of excuses. i have car to pay, household to buy, bla bla bla and the list goes on. but actually they dont realise that parents, giving money to their parents should be on top of the list". 

well thats not the exact word. it was 3-4 years back then? so forgive me. you know, mr. rajan is a guy with loads of interesting, funny and most of the time dirty jokes and stories. haha and he is also a guy with many words of wisdom. but that, those little speech of his that day, left me an impression. "damn!! you're f-ing right sir" - yeah sth like that. haha

you know, these days, salary of RM3000 a month wont be enuf. dunno in other areas but surely it is not enuf in KL. but u cant simply make that as an excuse for u to turn a blind eye when it comes to ur parents. how can you? when it is time for you to give back to your parents. yes, you might not have enuf money to pay this and that but cant you throw a decent 50 bucks??? when you can buy stuff to fulfill your wants?

sometimes, they dont ask money from you or even want your money, but it is simply an express of gratitude and you should do it even if they dont ask without even thinking or calculating. becoz they are your parents that raise you up till u manage to find money on ur own. dont think of it as a burden. think of it as helping or repaying them back for all the things they did for you. wouldnt the joy u brought them will be worth the money you gave? sure u can do so many other things to show that you actually care and love them. but if you're not staying under one roof with them, isnt it a lil hard? coz then you will come up with new excuses "oh i dont have the time", "i'm so bz w stuff"

well this is jus something that i feel like blogging about. n this will be a reminder for me when i have my own paycheck.

Mi Familia

final exam ends and here i am at home bz gaining weight - coz i'm EATING NON STOP. actually i'm not here to rant. i'm here to blog about my family :)

*roll eyes* "oh how cliche" 

do i look like i care?? no. therefore i will still b blogging bout my family ^^

i can talk about em all day, but i'll keep it simple n brief this time.

i was born in a big family. n i'm glad i am. i have 6 siblings, n when they got married. i get in-laws, n when they got pregnant, i got niece n nephews *wink wink* so in total, 18 of us? more or less. haha.

n i love each and everyone of them dearly.

The kids: Ahmad Aiman Firdaus, Ahmad Aidil Asyraf, Muhammad Irfan, Alyaa Batrisyia n newborn Muhammad Imran.
i love kids, so dun blame me if i spoilt my niece n nephews. they're just so freaking adorable how can u not manjakan em. cmon, cut me some slack. n those lil things they did that jus made you go awhh.. like when alyaa greet me with a huge smile at the arriving hall and when she said said (cik alice cantik lah, mcm princess) kekeke and when she said (alaaa.. cik alice jgn la tido lagi..) and when she knock at my door to wake me up in the morning. or when aiman got back home from skool yesterday n saw me the 1st tym since i got back from sabah. he look at me w this huge smile on his face n with his arm open wide to hug me. or when irfan got so excited bcoz i'm goin to go to his house. my point is they're simply jus so frigging adorable.

alyaa getting ready for her kindergarten

my brothers n sisters are so awesome. n so are my in-laws. we'll all meet up once in a while n its havoc i tell you. havoc. n thats how we roll.

n my parents. from the bottom of my heart, i love em :) n whatever i did n whatever i'm doing, my studies n my achievements are all for em. the smile on their face when they're proud of me, i would work my ass off to be able to see those smiles again.

today is my dad's bday. so here i am doing a big shout out to him


i love you. eventhough u always force me to drive ur manual car when u know i suck at driving manual.
i love you. eventhough u always made me cook twice bcoz u dont eat the first dish that i made.
i love you pa :)

we'll b celebrating on sunday n everyone will b there. totally cant wait!

song of da day: Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth & Emeli Sande


its been a rough week i can say. what do you think? 5 final papers in 3 days! the taste of hell on earth. *mentally n physically exhausted* i'm so exhausted i couldnt care less for the fifth paper. qua sera sera.

but now, i'm smiling becoz its all over and i managed to go thru that hellish period without any thoughts of trying to kill myself or to punch ne1 in the face. *wink* haha.

so now 2 papers left to go!

song of da day: Begin Again - Taylor Swift

About Me

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ohhaithere! i'm Alice. and i'm here blogging out loud and screaming the news to you XD
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