whatever i'm gonna write is 100% true. this is me being honest. this is me putting my ego aside. this is me looking so pathetic n i dun care. coz u're one of the best thing that ever happened to me. thanx for all the memories. i never regret being with you. becoz the memories r really worth the pain. n i'll b the keeper of those memories even if u forget everything. well, i still cry at night up until now. n i still shed a tear at the thoughts of you. i still think about you all the time. so u can quite figure out how much tears i've been wasting on you. i guess there's always that warm place for u in my heart. *shrug*

whenever i sat alone, i went thru our conversation in skype, fb, and all those text in my phone. how it all started. i swear it was so beautiful. its amazing how u make me scream like a mad teenager, jumping around like a kid. i was so happy. feel like i got the whole world in my hand. n while reading, i'll be smiling. overwhelmed by the feeling of sadness and sorrow so I cry as well. with a coinciding feeling of... well, the feeling that makes you laugh out loud, that tickling sensation. those funny stupid jokes that just makes me start laughing. i got lost in bittersweet memories. can u imagine it? cry laugh smile at the same time.LIKE A CRAZY GIRL.drowning myself in tears. *sigh*

after u left, i went out with a few guy. as a friend of course. but i guess my heart still belongs to you. i dun feel any sparks n i was thinking about you all along when i was with em. wishing that its you instead. how does that make u feel huh? its not the same, they're not you. i'll have that big smile plastered at my face when i'm with you.  sigh.. those good times. =) n yah... maybe she's better for you.

well, u're going off to canada 2moro. i wish u da best. y i love you is a hard question to answer.. n you know that this feelings i have 2wards you was like since i was a kid. well u're a very funny guy. n a gentleman. u're visionary n u know exactly what u're doin in ur life. fyi, u got me thinking about our future 2gther ya know. *confession* not even a single guy has ever got me thinking like that. marriage, house, kids. you did. you. I cant explain every way that i love you because thats impossible.But i can say i love you because you are you. rmmber u said? "love is about seeing an imperfect person perfectly" *smiling stupidly* -.- gawsh, save me from myself. well, i came across this malay quote

rmmber all the plans u've made with me?
rmmber what post is that? this post. n i meant every word.
n i know that thats not a lie. maybe u jus lost ur way. well, feelings fade away. n i cant blame you. its sth u cant control. shit happens. so yah... i'm not cool with it at first. but i am now.

p/s: selamat hari raya maaf zahir & batin.

but i guess thats jus sth i cant do. i'm not you.

looks like u dont truly love me. i am jus a fool for thinking that everything was real.